SHE AND ME

Essay #4 draft 1

“Never make up your mind about what you want to be without first knowing what you can be”. My town in the Dominican Republic calls Los minas where I lived with my mum dad, and brothers. After my parents divorced I was upset but I understood at age of ten- years- old that the divorce was the better decision for both. In that moment my brothers and me were separated because that, and we throughout a lot of hard time without our parents next to us. My family had misery after my father leaves us, but I had always the hope to have a better life. I’m simple but I think if I can enhance something of my life I will. Since I was little I thought that the decisions that you make now will be the specific material to create your future. You are you own design of your future. And I will tell you how I was like a perfectionist girl and what Ten-Years-Old-me react to see those changes.

“Hi! How are you? Do you have a car, a good boyfriend; tell me I want to know what happens with my life now. (She)

Hi. I’m fine. Oh! Yeah, I’m OK I mean I love my life and I’m ok with it. You know like, I don’t. Perhaps I won’t to tell you what you expect but, well, (Me)

“Yes, I mean you OK? You nineteen now so, I guess you are doing what you want to do right?”(She)

“Yeah but,”(Me)

“Do you have a boyfriend or you married. You have babies? (She)

“I have boyfriend”(me) without babies…(Me)

“And? (She)

“Um um..”(Me)

“Do you are in college? Where are you now? What you doing?”(She)
“Yes I am, you know I have a job and…”(Me)

“Where is mammy you live with our brother Alexis, where are you living…” (She)

I tried to explain to her that my life changed since I came to this country. And that I support myself since I live alone. That the family here treats you in a different way I trough family did, and that I don’t have the perfect man, but I’m ok with my life and with him. I like it and I try to do my best to have what she wants for her future. Like have a beautiful family, a good job, a perfect career that be in agreement with me and a brilliant relationship with God. That I didn’t plan to be like this, but is it what it is. And that I have been working to make her happy. Yes, I finished High School but I’m not in college now but also I told her that I will be there soon. That I’m poor and that I know that she won’t find anything interesting about me. And That I’m working hard to be confident with my life and that I still with the same dreams, and I want to make those real. That I don’t want to be desolation for her but if I’m is my found. That I’m not with my family but I’m not alone, I still with our God and he is the only one in my side. I think she didn’t understand me but I tried my best. I know how she feel, I’m not who she expected me to be but I am who I am. And this is how she responded me.

“So you telling me that you have a miserable life?”(She)

“If that’s the way you want to look at it”(Me)

I mean I love what I’m doing now, if you don’t like it is not my problem.”(Me)

“And? I thought this would be better” (She)

“Yes, but is not always what you think or what you want. You knew that people make sin and that those sins have consequences. Right”? (Me)

“Yes but…”(She)

“But, what? I mean you make sin and this is your future.(Me)

I know that you trough would be easier and better, but it is not.”(Me)

“OK, I understand and I respect that if you are happy and fine I am. Anyway I can’t change nothing it is too late” (She)

Thanks God she understands this and she will be right, well, is what that I think. Life is hard but you get the opportunity to make this better. She would like to change some problems in her life but she can’t, it is impossible. Perhaps in the actually she still confuse about her own life, but I have the hope that in the future she will understand and then she will change.